A Billion Miles from Home
by Ansatz
Summary: Cartman had always assumed that he and Kyle would end up together. His reality is shattered when he finds out that Stan and Kyle are a couple, and he becomes determined not to let Kyle get away, no matter what the consequences. Style, Cartman/Kyle, NonCon
1. Chapter 1

_The characters were created by Matt Stone and Trey Parker. South Park is a good show, I recommend it to everyone._

_This is a very cliché story, not serious at all. You have been forewarned. And by the way, will writers please start writing more Cartman/Kyle fiction. Completely drown the South Park section in it._

**Chapter 1**

"Damn those guys," Cartman mumbled to himself, walking down the school hall. "Where are they?" He really wanted to show them those papers on Mr. Garrison's desk.

He walked further, past the bathroom, past the janitors closest--

And stopped. _What the…?_ There was moaning coming from the closest. He got closer and put his ear to the door.

"Oh..mmm…oh…oh…Stan…" There was a rhythmic thumping.

Cartman's eyed widened. Stan? How did that bastard get laid before him? It had better not be that Wendy bitch. But then, that was the only girl it could be. He had never shown an interest in anyone else. Aw, disgusting. He couldn't believe he was listening to Stan having sex.

The thumping and the moaning increased and Eric sat and listened to it all, making disgusted faces, before it stopped altogether. Cartman heard muffled laughing, and felt a bang against the door. He jumped back and on a whim decided to hide in the classroom across the hall. He didn't know why he decided to do that: he could have waited right outside the door with crossed arms, waiting for Stan to come out, embarrassing him for years to come and acquiring excellent blackmail material. But later he would thank Mel Gibson for blessing him with insurmountable instincts, because what he saw next became a turning point in his life.

He heard the janitor door creek open, and then the two voices, (which for whatever reason were whispering, even though just a minute ago they had been making enough noise to be clearly heard from 3 classrooms down) were coming towards him. He tried to peek over the corner of the door as best he could, all while trying not to be seen.

"We better find Fatass, he might be snooping around," one of the voices said, the girl, the girl Stan was just boning. …_That doesn't sound like Wendy…sounds familiar though…kind of like…._

"If he's snooping anywhere he's probably somewhere in the cafeteria, looking for leftovers."Stan's voice. Cartman wanted to yell to Stan that he wasn't a poor asshole, but he was too concentrated on trying to figure out who the girl was.

They came closer, just out of sight. And then it dawned on Cartman and he knew who it was, just before he saw them, but he couldn't do anything to stop his eyes from looking. As Stan and Kyle walked into sight, his stomach dropped.

_No! No, no, NO!_

"Mm…more than likely. Maybe we should go somewhere else…and since he's probably occupied anyways…we could start off again… where we left off…." Kyle ran a hand down Stan's chest. Stan paled and his eyes glazed over; then he shook his head vigorously.

"No Kyle, come on, you know we promised him."

Kyle rolled his eyes and let go of Stan. "Yes, I know. Even if he is a big dopey fatass who probably called us here for some dumbass reason, I wouldn't just forget about him." He sighed. "Let's go find him."

Cartman, in cold sweat and shock, knew he had to think of a reason for being in the classroom. Luckily this was one of the classes he and Stan shared. He ran over to the teacher's desk and jiggled the drawer around a bit before he heard the lock click. This was something he had done many times before. Inside the drawer there were answer sheets to tests and graded work. He grabbed the sheet on the top, hoping to God that it was for the test coming up this week. Eric got up and ran over to the door.

The figures of Stan and Kyle were nearing the end of the hall, and though Eric wanted their attention, he decided that running towards them would not be very nonchalant. That and…he just didn't like running

"Ay! There you two fags are!"

It hurt him to say that. Like he was acknowledging the fact that he had lost and Stan had won.

Stan jumped and turned around, grabbing at his heart. "Jesus Cartman!"

Eric walked over to them. "Took you guys long enough…" his eyes trailed down to their arms, which were still interlocked. He snapped up to look them in the eyes. "Haha, don't tell me you guys are boyfriends now?" He tried to keep the normal jibe in his voice, but it came out a little more sinister sounding than he had intended it.

They quickly separated. "Shut up Fatass!" said Stan, but even as he yelled at Cartman there was a look that passed between Kyle and Stan, a look that made Cartman's guts twist, and his mouth twitch. They thought they were so fucking sneaky that they could share those stupid looks and he wouldn't figure it out?!

"Don't try to hide it, I know that stupid Jew bitch likes it shoved up his vagina." Definitely sinister this time, and slightly arousing.

Stan looked appalled and Kyle's cheeks were staining pink.

"Don't fucking say that about Kyle! Come on Kyle we're leaving."

Kyle's face had quickly gone from pink with embarrassment to red with fury. "Fuck you Cartman! Fuck you, you fucking fat_asshole_! _Asshole_! We came here to meet _you_! And the first thing you do is call us fags and then you…you…you have to…_Argh_!" Kyle finished in exasperation.

"…Interesting…looks like ah hit a nerve…" he slowly as he rubbed his chin, and observed Kyle, who was still fuming, before yelling, "Calm down you stupid Jew! I think Stan worked you a little too hard today. I knew you would run out of stamina." Stan looked puzzled by the last comment, but Kyle, still fuming didn't seem to care. "Anyways," he began in a lighter tone, "because you guys didn't show up I had to do all the work myself, but since I'm such a nice person, I'm still willing to share." He showed them the answer sheet he was holding behind his back. "Kahl doesn't have this class, but you'll probably find it useful Stan." He hadn't really called them over to cheat on papers; he had wanted to show them the faggy stories he had found on Mr. Garrison's desk. But it seemed too strange for the situation now.

Stan and Kyle looked at the answer sheet. "You brought us here to cheat?!" said Kyle.

Cartman narrowed his eyes at Kyle. "No…I brought you here so Stan and I can cheat."

"You really _are_ a useless fatass aren't you?

"I'm not asking _you_. I'm asking _Stan_. Also, it's not cheating. If you know the right answers, you willll learn as you are reading the test when you put the right answers down. It's simple logic, Kahl. Anyways, Stan and I will be over nyah, so if you want to join us, then you can sit like a good girl and watch."

Stan just shook his head. "I don't want any part of it Fatass."

"Cartman, that's the most twisted logic I've ever heard!" Kyle added.

"Fine!" said Eric as they turned and walked away. "That's just fine! Oh and Stan! While you're eating Kahl out, you might want to clean out the sand from his vagina."

Stan flipped him off as they left.

Cartman was left in the hall. He breathed. He stood. His fists were clenched.

_Damn Stan. Damn Kyle. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. They ruined everything. It happened too fast. I need to think of something._

Ever since Kyle and Stan were little they had been best friends. Cartman was always left out. And who cared about that poor piece of shit. Eric knew he deserved it, he was an asshole to Kyle, he always had to push it, he wanted Kyle to talk to him, to notice him, to get angry. He wanted to make slight sexual innuendos so he could imagine Kyle doing the things he implied later.

Stan had always been Kyle's best friend, but Eric had been sure Stan liked girls. He had to like girls. This relationship had to be nothing more than two best friends who had become too close, and mistaken friendship for romantic feelings. That _had_ to be it.

But Kyle…Kyle was gay, and Eric knew it. Not just on a hunch either. He had snuck onto Kyle's computer before, checked his room, and found porn that was definitely not female. Eric had had to sit down for a moment when he found that out. Kyle like men. Men were dangerous, men could hurt Kyle and control him, and this aroused Eric to no extent.

He had thought there was something between him and Kyle. There was passion, there was anger, and there was a lot of fury. And for some reason, he had just assumed that one day Stan would go off with a girl, and Kyle would be all alone. Kenny would be dead in a ditch somewhere, and the only one left…would be Eric. They would go off together and find a house. Kyle would be Cartman's little housewife, because he would threaten him not to do otherwise, and when Cartman would come home Kyle would be there and they would do whatever Eric wanted. They would role-play the Holocaust, which was something Eric had always wished to do with Kyle. Cartman would punish Kyle for even the most trivial thing and then he would drag him into the other room and crawl on top of him.

That was how Cartman had imagined it. But now it was ruined. He'd never get Kyle away from Stan. He'd never be able to have Kyle to himself.

He hated Stan. But he hated Kyle even more. And he wasn't going to let them get away with it.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for the reviews. One thing I forgot to mention was the age of the characters. At first I was going to have the story take place during their middle school years, but now I've decided Cartman has the ability to drive._

_For now I'm going to say that they're anywhere between middle and high school age. Cartman could definitely have the ability to drive in middle school. He's pulled some amazing stunts before. Maybe he's just that good._

**Chapter 2**

"Hey, don't let him get to you Kyle, he doesn't know anything. He's just being his normal, dumb, fat self."

Kyle looked down at his hands. "Stan…" he said softly. "Why am I always on the bottom?"

Stan looked thrown off. "…What?" he asked.

Kyle looked up at him angrily. "When we have sex…why am I _always_ on the bottom?"

Stan was taken aback. He paused. "I…it doesn't matter who's on the bottom, Kyle. If this is because of Cartman, just don't listen to him." Stan sighed. "Look - it doesn't matter who's on the bottom…I mean if you're worried, rest assured that it's not because you're…Jewish or shorter than me or anything…or…" He trailed off on the last part.

Kyle went back to looking at his hands. "Yeah…I know."

"Yeah…." Stan said, but couldn't think of anything more to say.

"Well then, I guess that settles it. _You_ get to play bottom next time," Kyle said playfully and smirked at Stan.

Stan laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Uhm…"

"Haha. Nervous?" laughed Kyle. He raised an eyebrow. "Well you should be; it's a scary job. Painful sometimes. But the rewards can be great." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"…You're serious?"

Kyle jumped fully onto the bed and sat on his haunches. "Yes, Stan, I'm completely serious!" Kyle laughed. His smile was bright and his eyes sparkled. The idea was really growing on him and he was getting excited about the prospect.

Stan scratched the back of his head again and would not look at Kyle. "I don't want to."

Kyle's face fell. "What?"

"I mean…I mean…" Stan quickly tried to explain himself. "It's just not something I'm comfortable with…"

Disbelief and disgust washed over Kyle's wash. "Stan…that's a really bastardly thing to say…you're willing to put me in a position that you're not even—"

Stan shook his hands in surrender. "No, no. Kyle. That's not what I meant. We've just always done it that way; I didn't realize it had to be a fair tradeoff."

"You didn't realize that? You expect me to be the bottom, the subordinate every single time?! Do you assume it's your right to be in control or something? We're supposed to be equals in this relationship Stan."

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. "I thought you _liked_ being on the bottom—"

"Stan, you're such a hypocrite sometimes! Whatever happened to 'it doesn't matter who's on the bottom. It doesn't matter who's on the top, except I get to be on top because I want Kyle to take my big fat dick up his ass all the time like a good little bitch!" Kyle yelled, mocking Stan's voice. His face was turning red from embarrassment and anger.

"Kyle! I would never think that about you! Dude, give me a fucking break. You just sprung this idea on me 2 minutes ago. I might adjust eventually but you can't expect me to simply agree without thinking through it first!"

"Well the answer should be easy if you really think we were equals."

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I do think we're equals. I'm just not comfortable with…that…yet." Stan desperately tried to make him understand. Comparisons. Kyle understood comparisons. "It's like…just because person A risks their life saving person B it doesn't mean that person A will be as brave as to return the favor one day. I mean person A didn't ask for the person B to save their life…and then…and then they're just in debt like that…it's...horrible…."

Kyle shook his head. "Stan shut up, you dumbass! You can't compare that to this! You willingly participated in this. Usually when one gives, and another willingly takes, it's expected that the favor will be returned. You fucking dumbass."

Stan could feel tears pricking at his eyes. _Ugh, why am I always so emotional?_He tried to blink them away, and swallow the knot in his throat. "Well you should have told me it had to be a fair trade off, because if I had known I never would have slept with you," he said coldly.

Stan's breath was heavy as Kyle's face hardened. "Well that's fine Stan." Kyle picked his coat off the bed, and walked toward Stan's bedroom door. Stan noticed Kyle's hand was shaking as he opened the doorknob. "I'll at least admit this: it was fun while it lasted." And with that he closed the door.

The footsteps echoed down the steps, and the front door slamed shut. Stan stood silently for a while, and then walked over to his bed and sat down slowly, lying down on his back.

He understood Kyle to a certain extent. Kyle wanted Stan to put himself out and relinquish the normal male position they had grown up thinking they would fulfill. Kyle had done it, so it was only fair that Stan should too. _Who knows though, maybe Kyle has always imagined himself underneath someone; he is surprisingly good at lying there_, Stan thought darkly, then felt sick with himself afterwards.

Stan had noticed for quite awhile that he was always on top, and he had been growing the courage to switch places with Kyle, but now Kyle had gone and ruined everything. Stan felt pressured now. His revelation was no longer something to be given freely. Changing now would be changing because Kyle wanted him to, not because he had conquered his personal issue on his own.

_There I go, blaming Kyle for everything. It's not his fault. If only I wasn't so selfish. I should be changing for him; he'd probably change for me._

Stan stretched his arms behind his head and looked at the ceiling. _If only I could get over my selfish fear. I wish we had never gotten in this fight, what started it anway? _And suddenly he shot up from bed. Oh he knew what started it. He definitely knew who started it. He hands clenched into fists.

Eric. Theodore. Cartman. Eric Theodore Cartman with his comments had made Kyle worry. Eric Theodore Cartman had made Kyle question their love. Eric Theodore Cartman, with his thread of insecurities had woven right through their relationship, and he was going to pay.

--

Eric Theodore Cartman walked down the street in the direction of his house. He fingered the paper bag in his hand. The power he felt from the object inside was exhilarating. With his other hand, he reached into the bag, lifted the cloth covering of the object, and felt the cold metal surface of a gun. Beside it, there was a package of bullets.

As he was staring into space, feeling up the pistol, he failed to notice the object moving in his direction. But he did feel the impact of running into something. Shaking his head out of a 

daze, he peered around to see Stan sitting near him, giving him one of the dirtiest looks humanly possible. Stan's eyes were narrowed into slits, pinning him as a target.

"_You."_

Eric Cartman felt around for the paper bag. He picked it up off the ground and held it to his chest.

"Eric," Stan said matter-of-factly. "Just so know…I am going to fuck you up so bad you won't know which way is up and which way is down. You won't know left from fucking right. You won't even be able to count your fucking _toes_ when I'm through with you…you son of a bitch."

Cartman gaped at Stan, opening his mouth like a fish, then coughed. "Ehym, that's really very nice Stanley, but this isn't really a good time, you see, so…"

Stan started to get up slowly, and Cartman scooted back before scrambling upwards as fast as his fat body would let him.

Before Eric had even fully managed to get up, Stan had gotten him into a headlock and was kneeing him in the stomach.

"Ah!...Ow!...Let go of me you pussy!...Bad Stanley!" He clutched the brown paper back closer to his chest.

"What the fuck is in that bag?" Stan said, finally noticing how focused Eric was on keeping it. He tried to grab it out of Eric's hands, but Eric turned away.

"No way you asshole, its private."

Stan tried to grab for it again, but this time Eric swung the bag. The hit was not square in the forehead, but it was enough to leave Stan dazed, and it gave Cartman time. He ran up the steps to his home, opened the door, locked the door, and ran upstairs to his room.

Eric's breathing came rapidly as he sat against his door. From inside the paper bag he carefully took out the gun and held it up to the light. The sunset bounced off the metal, creating reflections of light on his wall. He had made it. He was safe. He had the gun; he had the car; he knew the time; now all he had to do was wait, and pack.

--

Kyle walked home from Stan's house, fitting his gloved hands under his armpits to keep them warm. He felt horrible; he shouldn't have said those things to Stan, and all he wanted to 

do now was apologize, and run back to Stan, but he couldn't just go back so soon after a really big fight like that. Kyle wanted to cry; but he didn't.

When he got home, his room seemed cold and lonely; it didn't have the warmth it had when Stan was there. His bed was empty, and there was nothing to do. So he lay down, and went to sleep.

The first time he woke up he was drenched in sweat. It was the middle of the night, and he had dreamt that he and Stan had been forbidden to see each other ever again. He had searched everywhere for Stan; had tried desperately to find him. There had only been one drive in the dream: _I must find Stan, I must find Stan, I must find Stan…._ But it was only a dream, even if it was related to real life events. Stan wasn't missing and he eventually would be able to get him back. It was only a dream.

The second time he woke up he knew he had dreamt about something else, but he didn't remember what. He was groggy and his brain was clouded, but when he realized there was a gun pressed to his forehead, his mind quickly tried to formulate itself. It seemed unreal. His adrenaline kicked in, and once again he was drenched in sweat. He began to hyperventilate.

"Wake up Kahl, we have to leave right now. I've got all the things I think you'll need already packed, all that's missing is you."

And it wasn't a dream.


	3. Chapter 3

_I have written this chapter over too many times…this was the third try. It is short because it has to be, there's not really any way I can make it longer. At first I wrote a different version of the chapter, but everything just happened too fast, so I rewrote it. _

_Also as a warning, I am going to be moving this story to M because there will a rape scene._

**Chapter 3**

The room was silent except for the heavy, piggish pants of Cartman, and the small, frantic breaths of Kyle.

In the darkness of the room, the pervading silence was broken as Kyle spoke. "What the fuck Cartman?" he whispered harshly.

"Shut up Kahl." The gun was pressed closer to Kyle's head. Kyle swallowed and stayed silent. Even though he'd been threatened by Cartman more times in his life than he ever would be by anyone else, he had long ago figured out that Cartman _always_ did the unexpected. Taking chances when Cartman had a gun could lead to any possible consequences.

Cartman spoke. "Kahl, I want you to get out of bed. There's a ladder outside the window. Climb down it and I'll be right behind you. …Don't make any wrong moves."

Kyle pulled off the covers slowly. Should he yell for his mom, his dad, Ike? Ike had grown pretty strong in the last few years; he could definitely take Cartman. But then, Cartman had the gun.

Eric stood to the side of the bed, allowing Kyle to get up. The window lied open in wait. Through the open glass, light from the moon and stars illuminated Kyle's figure, and Cartman watched with arousal as Kyle's curvy form struggled to get out the window. Kyle climbed down the ladder shakily, wanting more than anything to apologize to Stan, wishing Stan were here.

Cartman was climbing down above him. Kyle reached the lawn, but stayed where he was. If he ran away in fear, the embarrassment would be too much. Kyle Broflovski, afraid of Eric Cartman, wouldn't have worked. So he stood on the lawn, tired and thrown off, and curious as to what Cartman wanted.

Eric followed Kyle down the ladder. As he took the wooden steps down to the lawn the gun waivered in his hand, but he had Kyle in his sight and knew that if Kyle tried to run, he would be there to catch him.

Eventually Eric managed to get his bulky body all the way down, huffing and puffing with the effort. Kyle was waiting on the grass like a good little dog. The darkness was casting shadows on his face as the moon was casting washes of white light on the grass.

He looked Kyle up and down. "The car's parked over there Kahl. Keep going."

Kyle turned on his heel walked towards the car warily. At times like this his anger and frustration with Cartman would build up, making it almost impossible to contain. Sooner or later he knew he would lash out at Cartman, which worried him because Cartman could hurt him.

Eric drooled as he watched Kyle's hips sway naturally. The movement was pronounced in the darkness. Kyle had always had large hips and small shoulders; it was just the way he was built. Even after puberty it hadn't gone away. Cartman followed him, fumbling with the car keys for a minute. 'God dammit,' Kyle heard Cartman mumble under his breath, before getting frustrated and kicking the car door. It swung open and Cartman forced Kyle in.

They began their journey on the open road.

Every once in awhile, Cartman would use the yellow light of the car to look over and check Kyle out. He wanted to touch him – badly. For most of his life he had thought about being alone with Kyle, just the two of them and a life of their own adventures. And now, finally, he was going to have a world with Kyle and there would be no one else – no Stan Marshes, no Kennys, no parents, no teachers, no law to mess it up for them. It would be Eric and Kyle. And there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Out here on the outskirts of South Park there was nothing but open land. And that was exactly what they needed. This way Cartman could play with his Jew all by himself, all he wanted. No one would be around to hear or see anything, and there was no way the stupid little Jew could escape because he'd have nowhere to go. He'd be trapped…_hopefully underneath me_, though Carmtan. In the glass of the front window, Eric could see Kyle's reflection. He was curled up as far away from Eric as possible, staring out the window into the black night.

Kyle continued to stare out the glass pane, not really thinking of anything. Stan's face idly came to mind but he let it go. He had tried to keep track of where they were going so he would know how to get back to South Park, but had lost track after the first half hour or so. He was tired and the car was cold; even with the heater on the car was cold, and he found himself shivering. Kyle knew Cartman stared at him every once in awhile and it made him uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything.

There were lights, and there was darkness. Everything was blending together in a haze. _Why is it so dark… It's so late… Am I driving? _The car clock had the numbers flashed 4:26 in neon green over and over again, and Eric suddenly realized he was very tired. He looked for a place to stop. There had to be some kind of pathway they could take off the road. Eventually Eric found what looked like an opening. He pulled the car to the right and drove until he came to a spot that seemed fairly well hidden by the tall grass. _So tired…_ He turned off the engine and lay back, closing his eyes.

Kyle looked over at Eric, who was falling asleep. He had had enough of this. No way was Cartman going peacefully to sleep without telling Kyle why the fuck he had dragged him out here.

"Cartman, what the fuck is this all about?"

Eric jolted up and looked over at Kyle. Suddenly the pupils of Cartman's eyes dilated, and he felt slightly more awake.

"Kahl…it's finally just us…" With the back of his hand he touched Kyle's cheek and trailed it to his shoulder.

Kyle shied away from Cartman's hand and gave him a look of surprise. "What the fuck Cartman? Are you on something?"

"Kahl, you're cold," said Cartman as he noticed that Kyle was shivering. He sat up. With each passing moment arousal was taking away his fatigue. He reached into the back seat, fumbling through the bags.

Kyle just stared at him in disbelief.

Cartman pulled out a blanket. "Here Kahl," A fuzzy blanket was wrapped around Kyle's shoulders, and the ends were put in Kyle's hands.

Kyle stared at the blanket, looking back at Cartman guardedly. "Cartman, what kind of game is this?"

Cartman reached for Kyle, but Kyle backed away, eluding him. "No game Kahl, but we need to go to sleep." Cartman reached for Kyle again, and this time succeeded in capturing him. Kyle was pulled toward Cartman and into his lap. He struggled and pushed at Cartman.

"What the ? Carmtan- This is sick- You bastard!" Cartman held onto Kyle tightly, but his grip seemed to loosen a little as he fell asleep. Cartman succeeded in prying Cartman's arm off him. But then he felt regretful because for the first time Cartman felt like a friend. Of course it was only because he was sleeping. But none the less Kyle was tired, and for once he wanted to pretend that Cartman was a friend. So he nestled against Eric's chest, and fell asleep.


End file.
